I can’t work out whether I am more or less body confident than I was pre-baby. I think I am more confident, well, most of the time. My body is definitely different, I have bigger boobs and a saggier belly. My legs are much the same size wise but I have faint stretch marks on my thighs, and my upper arms are still a bit flabby too. I wish I had put less weight on when I was pregnant, but hey, you live and learn right? I actually only weigh around half a stone more than I did when I got pregnant in fact, I just look different! I now wear jeans and tops to cover up my flabbier-than-before middle (and make it easier to breastfeed), whereas pre-baby jeans or trousers never graced my legs at all! How things change!
It’s at this time of year when I start to feel more aware of my body. Today I walked past someone in town with her baby in a buggy, wearing a crop top and shorter than short shorts. She had an awesome figure. I was wearing shorts too, but mine were linen and on the longer side, and I had a sensible cotton top on from next. I felt very middle aged. I then had a strict word with myself, she was in early late teens or early twenties. I am 30, it’s no wonder I didn’t spring back into shape, and I wasn’t as slim as she was in the first place!
Till late spring I was happy in my jeans and jumpers. But not only is there more on display to compare myself too in the summer, but it’s bloody hot in case you hadn’t noticed! I’d love to be wearing next to nothing but just don’t have the confidence to do so. Plus if I wear shorter-than-short shorts my thighs would rub together and cause me great discomfort! I also get under-boob sweat now I actually have boobs… but do I care enough to do anything about it? No, not really. I figure that at some point I’ll be pregnant again and undo all my hard work. Although I do plan on not putting on as much weight as I did with Athena, that’s for sure!
Until this week with it’s ridiculous weather I have been keeping my upper arms covered, annoyed at how flabby my bingo wings are, but I have decided to go with the flow, it’s too hot to keep my pits ensconced in fabric! Remember I said I did a sneaky Asos order last Sunday? This is one of two sleeveless dresses I bought. So here I am, pale and pasty upper arms and all!
Origami print Dress: Asos. Shoes: Mel (they’re made of rubber and are scented, seriously weird but they were reduced to £10 in Debenhams! I plan to use them as beach shoes mainly!)
This time 3 years ago I would have a lovely glowing tan, acquired from every-other day sessions on a sun bed. I always like a tan made my podgy belly and wobbly thighs look better than their natural flour-white appearance. Now, I am happy (Well, happier) to head out baring my milk-white legs for all to see, sometimes I don’t even shave them when I probably should! I guess I am more body confident now! After all, I think i’m the only one who gives a damn, and I wish I could tell my 20 year old self that!
Ps: This isn’t a ploy to get people to tell me I have nothing to worry about!
How has your opinion of your body changed over the years?
You look lovely! Your figure is still brilliant, and I think a lot of people tend to be overly critical of their own appearance (myself VERY much included); especially when faced with the figure of a nubile teen in short-shorts. It makes me feel fat and middle-aged, although that might also be because I’m internally screaming PUT YOUR ARSE CHEEKS AWAY!! Being bombarded with photoshopped images of half-starved models wears down our sub-conscious until we think anything wobbly is completely wrong. Years ago I watched a recording of Alan Davies (of QI/Jonathan Creek fame) doing some stand-up, and I remember he was so disparaging about people who said it was gross to have some fat on your body, because the alternative was ripping open the side of your belly when reaching for something high up (due to no excess skin). He also said that no man ever boasted about sleeping with a woman who was “really sexy because she was so thin I kept cutting myself on her ribs and hipbones”.
xxx
P.S. That said, I know some girls who find it impossible to put on weight and wish they weren’t so thin. I think we just need to stop giving ourselves such a hard time about our bodies full stop.
P.P.S. Sorry for the crazily long comment.
When I was in my teens and 20s I had more body issues even though I was lucky enough to have a lovely figure! Now I’m 42 I have far more confidence. I know what suits me and what I like to wear and I don’t hide away like I used to. I really work on trying to stay in reasonable shape. I don’t go to the gym, but I’m pretty careful with what I eat and I do alot of walking. I think the biggest difference for how I felt came after we took the plunge and dared to try staying at a naturist camp site in France. You take your clothes off and leave your inhibitions behind too, I recommend it! I think you have to try to be happy with what you’ve got, or work on making it better. But whatever you choose be happy with your decision and don’t let it take over life. Life’s too short to be miserable.
The dress looks amazing on you Lauren! And after our swim the other day I’ve been thinking about this a lot too. You’re right, the hot weather definitely highlights all these thoughts, but it’s ridiculous that we can worry so much that we are suffering because we’re too obsessed about what other people think. And, if you think about it, if everyone else is worrying what they look like, then chances are that they haven’t even noticed your {insert flaw here} that you’re worrying about. It can be a really hard thing to talk about – because I have bony appendages people just assume I’m skinny all over, but I spend way too much time worrying about my podgy belly and bum and lack of boobs! But, I’ve tried to turn this around the last few weeks – yes I may have tiny boobs, but guess what, that means I don’t have to suffer wearing a bra in this heat – woo! I wish I could’ve told my past self to just accept my body as it is, I’m getting there now but like Katie said, pressure comes from all angles in the media etc. Also, awesome Alan Davies quote from Katie too!! 🙂 xxx
p.s. You looked incredible in your swimsuit 😉
I find a tan always makes me more confident too! I think you’re gorgeous anyway!
Sophie x
Summer is awful for revealing my own insecurities about my body image – another reason why I love Autumn so much, I can layer up as much as I want and no one can judge me! I now look at pictures of myself when I was at college around 16/17 and honestly think that’s the best I’ve ever looked, but at the time I felt awful about myself and would constantly compare myself to other people. I’m definitely more comfortable in my own skin now, but that’s come with time and shift in my brain to focus on making sure I’m just healthy – that’s all that matters in the end right?
I personally think you look fab Lauren, the top is super flattering on you and I love the print! Xx
For the first time ever, I worried that my body was too skinny this year. A few people had said it too me, and I couldn’t believe that it was actually affecting me. I’m normally not phased by any opinions from others and the last time I ever came close to thinking my body was anything less than perfect was when I was a teenager and worried that my boobs were far too small. The event got me thinking though. And I realised that weather we think we’re too fat, skinny, with big or tiny boobs or bums, it’s a mind over matter issue. The most important thing is being healthy and if you’re mind is healthy then your body will follow, so be happy in your skin however it looks so you your mind stays clear and free to improve what you really need to. And you’re not too old at ANY age to have the body of your dreams either, if you REALLY want to look like that 20+ in her crop top you can do it girl! xo
I have found it very difficult post sprog to feel happy with how I look. I now weigh the same as before I got pregnant but I don’t look like me. I have a distorted image in my head of how I look. I either feel good and then see myself in a shop window and realise that it’s not actually me looking back or feel big and therefore eat more…always a good solution!
Reading this post has made me reevaluate and give myself a kick up the bum so thank you. It made me getting my running shoes back on http://wp.me/p4qMu8-5H